how can you have a friendship for 19 years and just let it go?
how can you expect a friendship of 2 girls who used to be inseparable to finally separate?
the answer is one word: CHANGE
people change, its inevitable. some change for better, some for worse. some change to cherish relationships, others change to grow a hatred for it.
me? i changed into thinking realistically. you can say you love me how you used to, but truth is, its not possible. if you only contact me for schoolwork and nothing else, how is that “loving me”? if i contact you with funny thoughts, how is not responding “loving me?” whats more real, implying you miss me? or actually saying it. if you dont show it, then it is NOT real. and since it is not real, it is necessary to move on…because clearly you have and you will never realize how much pain you have caused.
i had a dream that i died. your current “best friend” comforted you and told you, its okay, i will replace her.
she is the cause of your change. your change for the worse. i dont think things will EVER be the same.
________________________
i dont even know why i brought this up. i had such a wonderful day celebrating adil’s bday with bowling and dinner…but this is a thought i needed to get out for a while now.
after 15 years of being in public school systems, never once did they prematurely close school before there was snow on the ground!
Its a blizzard outside, but i have gone to school plenty in this type of weather… i remember one blizzard back in freshman year of hs, it snowed and i had spanish 1st period. ms roomet made us all hot chocolate! eventually students came in by 2nd period and in between class (since we were in the trailors) we had awesome snow ball fights!! another blizzard occured on valentines day ‘07! the girls wanted to continue our ritual of v-day sticky pics and so we went all the way to totos in the snow!i was soo afraid that i was goin to get stuck in main street but luckily the bus came and i eventually came home lol
but anyways, today classes are cancelled so im home, reminiscing and DOING WORK! yay.. time to catch up hopefully.. i wished we had thursday off though, its my most boring day!
not much else to write but i should complete the 09 survey!
In 2009..
Did you do something you would never do?: yes turned sour, mj/sal. LOL
Did anyone close to you give birth?: yesss… sweet lil rahiyan
Did anyone close to you die?:close no, but there were a few deaths of distant relatives and cant forget MJ!
Did you visit any countries?: yes! went to bangladesh and kuwait late dec around xmas time and came back in 2010
What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?: the ability to be selfish and not feel bad about it =/
Will any date from 2009 stay etched in your memory forever?: 01 23 09 <3
What was your biggest achievement of 2009?: getting my license
What was your biggest failure of 2009?: orgo lab I =(
Did you suffer illness or injury?: sprained my ankle early march-ish
What was the best thing you bought in ‘09?:my texting phone/phone plan! so addicting!
Did your behavior change over the year?: no doubt, less “hashi khushi”
Where did you spend most of your money?: birthdays…too many birthdays lol
Are you happier than this time last year?: i was much happier last year
What song will remind you of 2009?: aal izz well, lady gaga songs, rishte naate, tera hone laga
What do you wish you would have done more of?: be more serious with my studies
What do you wish you would have done less of?: eating junkfood, lying
What did/will you do for Christmas ‘09?: i was last minute packing and then off to airport for flight to BD
Did you fall in love in 2009?: yesss <3
Did you get your heart broken in 2009?: yes
Favorite TV program of ‘09?:secretlife, vampire diaries
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?: i dont dislike anyone, i grow distant from people, but no hating
What was the best book you read and/or movie you saw in ‘09?: best book-unaccustomed earth , movie- 3 idiots
What was your greatest discovery?: some pretty awesome friends <3
What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?: i turned 20… i had physics, met with emon, went to sephora to get makeup done with sarah, met tim and asma, went to physics lab, during break chilled with kulsu, moon, asma, kristi and rabia..then skipped bio and continued chilling till the other birthday girl and her crew showed up, then went to nanking, had dinner and cak, came home and thats a wrap
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:having my girls closer to me (NBZ and oh seven!! <3)
How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2009?: cardigans, layering and skinny jeans
Friends
Who was the best new person you met?: emon, alla, shule, dev
Who did you wish you did not meet?: leader of b-unit
Who was your best friend?: nadeem, faiz and kristi
Who was your enemy?: no one
Who do you miss?: i miss neeethi like crazyy, everyday!
Who will you never forget?:the people who were always there for me
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009: (same as what i learned in 08) keep a cool face and watch what happens from a distance, it shows you how people are really like, always respect your elders, and if its not meant to happen, let it go.
What will you always remember about 2009?: All the awesome friends I made, trip to BD, fall lineup of weddings, the biggest loss of friends i’ve ever had
Aspirations for 2010…
What do you want to do in ‘10 that you couldn’t in ‘09?: umm hopefully, find a girl for my bro lol and get a job!
Any resolutions?: gasp, i never finished my “ak movies” resolutions, be a better Muslim and eat healthy =D
What will be different about 2010 than 2009?: only time will tell…
Anything you want to change about yourself for 2010?: lose weight and focus more on school/ religion
Do you want to make more friends in 2010?: acquaintances: yes, friends: no …im sticking to those i already know and love
im used to having a class, then 3 hour break, then another class…but this semester, all my classes are back to back excluding wednesday. the bright side is i have class only 3 days but my 2 off days arent really considered “off” because i hang out…old habits are hard to kill!!
anyways, this week was the first full week of school and im exhausted! so much reading, homework, papers…im catching up but i still feel like i am behind.. i hope Allah helps me through this!
today is superbowl sunday..not like i care because i have work to do…its cold outside! Im going back to work…
oh and im in a very “sufi music mode”
atif aslam- adaat
i havent written here since the summer… i was in total “depression mode” all of last semester but hopefully i am OUT of it…because it is a new year and i plan to live a new, improved life.
fall semester was bad because of the loss of friends who i thought i was close with, but i was fooled. I dont like the idea of choosing friends and i would never force anyone to choose between me and some other dude.. therefore, i let go. If i cant stand a certain person, then its my decision and my feelings so i dont understand why it affected everyone else and forced people to be negative toward me. maybe i wasnt as important to them as they were to me, maybe i wasnt as “fun” as the replacements or maybe they were all pretending with me and probably even fooling the replacements as well. I’m sorry if you feel like i replaced you, or am now ignoring you? but you did it first to me and now that it is a new semester, i dont really care if i hurt you. you may say that you are always trying, but truthfully, what you are doing isnt my definition of trying.
This semester, i am keeping myself busy and staying close with friends who wont leave me in the dust. i have a full schedule, hard classes, and no longgg breaks. if i concentrate on school and keep my mind off of shit, then i believe i will not feel like shit.
anyways.. iono why i wrote all this, i know no one is goin to read this, but i feel like i should update my life.
in happy thoughts, i went to like a billion weddings last november and i went to BD for 3 weeks where i actually lived the life of a princess. i met some cool cousins and i miss my house. now im back to a new semester at hunter.
